BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND [drum roll] Random Quotes Sunday ....
I say to the 14 year old son, "Look, if I were an Asian-American Tiger Mom, I'd make you practice piano two hours a day. All I'm asking is that you watch The Manchurian Candidate with Denzel!"
He says, "If you were Asian, I'd be Asian and I'd already know how to play the piano. AND I'd be a Ninja. So... you kind can't argue with that!"
"The problem with that guy is simple. He'd pick a lame Foucault joke over a supremely funny fart joke. How can you make an authentic connect to a person like that?"
Dave says, "Wait. I take that back. I do want to be the pole in your pole dance. I wasn't paying attention."
Because PURE is now in galley form and one copy is in our house ...
The 14-year-old (who refuses to read my work) says, "I see you're working on the sequel to FUSE there. I see a Partridge chapter up there."
"Yeah, the first book alternates between four points of view and this one probably between five."
He says, "And maybe I know that because I READ the first FOUR chapter of the book LAST NIGHT before bed!"
I spin around. "You did! I'm so happy! I can't tell you what that ..."
"Oh, wait. I didn't know you'd be genuinely that excited. Um. I was being sarcastic."
"So you feel really bad now, don't you?"
"So bad you're going to read the first four chapters tonight."
"Actually not that bad."
Dave says, as if this is a previous unrevealed deep confession, "You know, I was an English major with a Philosophy minor. I mean ..."
"And I was a First Team All-Catholic Field Hockey player. At a certain point you've just got to throw your hands up."
Dave pauses. "First team All-Catholic?"
"Okay, okay. So it wasn't the toughest division! Back off!"