Sunday, April 24, 2011

lazy bunny.

Our Easter Bunny is a notorious lazy ass. He sometimes doesn't show until after noon on Easter Sunday. He leaves tags on stuff -- proof he bought the Easter egg socks at Target or the Silly Putty at Walgreens. (And cheap. There's no extravagance.)

And no baskets. I mean, there have BEEN baskets, but who can find them? And he doesn't replace them. My kids are the one at the local Easter egg hunt with plastic grocery bags.

He seems to hate fake grass. His attitude is: "Why buy fake grass when we've got a yard full of real grass in the yard -- which is always overgrown?"

One year he decided, "Hey, I'm obviously not a morning bunny so maybe I'll hide all of the colored eggs handmade by the lovely children in the yard so that it's done when they wake up?"

He did so.

In the morning, there were only little bits of pink and purple shells in the yard. Some suburban predator had eaten 'em all. And so he was like, "Fine then. Go on an egg shell hunt." And he moped.

He's a jerk, but at least not as bad as the tooth fairy -- who completely blows off her responsibilities or, maybe worse, leaves her little I.O.U.s or, even worse than that, some sweet little note as if that's supposed to take the place of cash.

In other words, happy (jaded) Easter!


[Cartoon above found at Snarkerati. Foam bunny ears made by Theo.]