Monday, April 18, 2011

Hello, Book & Facebook Awards for BEST COMMENTS

A. Hello, Book. So, I visited my novel at Target this weekend -- where it resides on back end-cap display -- and it was like walking up to your kid at a science fair table where she's displaying something volcanic.

And I was kind of like, "So, how's it going? Many people stopping by?"

And the kid's embarrassed you're there and kind of wants you to leave -- but also to stay because she wants it to seem like there are people interested in her volcano. She keeps smiling at others who pass by and barely makes eye contact. But you can tell, deep down, that she's glad you came.

Or maybe I'm not the parent at all, but that kid herself. And my damn volcano was made all by myself -- unlike the other kids who got their fancy-smart not-distracted-by-their-older-more-important-children parents to do it for them -- and, as a result, it's rickety and probably doesn't work at all. And all I want to do is dismantle my display and put it back on the porch where, once upon a time, it was all mine.

Or maybe it was like seeing your book at Target and not like the above at all because who does THAT level of anthropomorphizing. It's a book.

And maybe the copies of it got mysteriously moved to the front cap of the display. Maybe. I'm just saying it's possible.

And maybe I also bought a pair of black knee-length shorts that I already own (but can't find).

B. FACEBOOK AWARDS FOR BEST COMMENTS

I've decided that I need to start giving out awards for the BEST AND MOST BRILLIANT COMMENTS to my (not so best and/or brilliant) Facebook Posts.

First Place for Best Kicker in a Comment Box goes to [drum roll] ... Stella Marr for this response to my post on the new word coband (invented by Rachelle Jewel) .

Stella wrote,
"It is especially cool to think that there was a femnine for husband -- husbande. I do love saying husband when I introduce my better half. Probably has something to do with the fact I was a hooker for ten years, prior to getting a BA from Barnard."
(For more on Stella, her web site.)

First Place for Most Hilarious Inventive Commentation goes to [drum roll] ... Ashley Parsons, for this beautiful addition to a discussion the same discussion though focusing on the baffling expression "Hug the bear," invented by Dave Scott (my coband, see link above):

"... Please ask if we could get some cross-collaboration going with "Eat the Blanket." One uses the phrase to encapsulate the basic "gimmick" or "premise" of a movie or other fictional... work ---the basic thing you have to 'swallow' to make the whole rest of the story work - no matter how cumbersome it is. For example, the movie INCEPTION - I totes ate the blanket on that one and loved it. (the blanket there being the whole i-can-go-into-your-dream-using-this-drug-thing-and-here-are-the-dream-rules-pay-attention-it's-going-to-work-i-promise). Come to think of it, I think I ate several blankets there. Maybe it was a matching set - pillow-shams, comforter, bed-ruffle, valance. I can tell you it was high thread count."

(You can hit Ashley's blog by clicking here.)

And WHAT do they win? Um... I don't know. How about this award that they'll have to rip out of the grip of Ellen Page.