9 year old is doing an impersonation of a health teacher. "I'm multitasking," he says in a gruff Jersey accent, "smoking AND talking at the same time."
13 year old offers to beat up a kid who slugged his younger brother in the eye with an air-soft gun. "Just because he's part-Asian doesn't mean he's a Ninja."
After the air-soft gun shooting, I asked the 9 year old (with whom I've had many arguments about paint guns etc...), "Did it almost put your eye out?"
"No," he said. "It hit me in the eyebrow."
"How far is your eye from your eyebrow?"
"Did it almost put your eye out -- by an inch?"
"Yes, yes!" he ADMITS IT. "It almost put my eye out!"
OH MOTHERS OF THE AGES -- oh, Mothers of BOYS WITH STICKS and beebee guns and paint guns and archery sets and air soft guns -- vindication is ours, this day, oh mothers! Vindication is ours!