Friday, May 15, 2009

Things I've Eaten Recently with a Tasty Tip of the Day

Deep-fried cheesecake with chocolate ice cream.

This was at, of all places, a Japanese restaurant.

I digested it just fine until I decided, while doing sit-up in front of the TV, to do scissor kicks in the air to the tune of the Macy's mother's day commercial. This was a bad choice. I paid which brings me to my:

Tasty Tip if the Day:

Go easy on the deep-fried cheesecake with chocolate ice cream. But if bent, don't do scissor kicks over your head. In addition to making you nauseous, it will probably only make the fat content rush to your heart.

Friday, May 8, 2009

A Momentito of Surburban Shame

It's embarrassing when people driving by your house slow down and ask you how much one of the scooters in your yard costs because they think you're having a yard sale when, in fact, that's just the way your yard looks.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Things I've Eaten Recently: Tasty Tip of the Day

I'm a sucker for things wrapped in bacon. I know this about myself. And yet, in a mood-lit apartment, celebrating the birthday of one of my favorite grad students, near Cinco de Mayo, I popped something bacon-wrapped into my mouth without really inquiring first as to what it was.

Or, perhaps someone did say what the bacon-wrapped item was and I wasn't listening.

Perhaps it was even labeled and I wasn't reading labels. Basically, bacon blurs my rational thought.

The item was a jalepeno pepper. There was also cheese involved somehow. It burned my tongue, my throat, my gums, and even, I do believe, my teeth.

To quench it, I downed a marguerita. Perhaps not the best choice either. I'm a lightweight. (And my distant history with marguaritas, in my youth, is not happy.)

Alas, I suffered. Natural consequences. This is sometimes the best way to learn. Although when bacon is involved, I don't know that I have the ability to learn.

This brings me to my:

Tasty Tip of the Day:

Beware of things wrapped in bacon.Read labels. Don't yell at the hostess when you're drunk on marguaritas and make a scene. Don't slap people on their birthdays, etc etc etc ...

Monday, May 4, 2009

On Wearing Clothes

My husband and I were trying to talk our son into wearing clothes more often -- he's plenty old enough and who wants to raise a nudist?

My husband says, "You want to know the upside of clothes? It's ... mystery!"
I lean over and whisper, "I thought it was pockets."