Friday, July 3, 2009

If You Came of Age in the 80s, Here Are Some Tips for De-Aging (without surgery)

So ... Here's what I've had to sacrifice to be younger:

I no longer sing along to ICE ICE BABY -- how could I? I tell myself. I was barely born yet.

When Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" comes on the radio, I don't joke around by raising my hands in the air and pretending I'm John Cusack holding a boom box in Say Anything.

"Say Anything?" Um, sorry, I got nothing. I must have been getting potty-trained.

I've dumped Ralph Machio as my childhood crush. Ditto Boris Becker. Who?

Drakkar what? A cologne? Noir, huh? Never smelled it before.

I just don't even say the word ALBUM -- not even when talking about photos.

I NEVER admit I was scarred as a child because I wasn't ever picked to be Farrah when playing Charlie's Angels. (I was Kate Jackson and am still BITTER about it.)