Okay, I was reading my kids' gift lists -- which are typed and organized via iPod Touch by my oldest daughter, who generally orchestrates our lives.
On my 11-year-old son's list, there is this gem: Lobster (not to eat)
This means, I take it, that the boy wants a pet lobster in a tank. Is there another way to read this?
I just imagine the lobster and me -- our conflicted relationship. How he'd sense the fact that I'd want to eat him. How I'd walk by and give him the old chin-up nod, the finger-point gesture of, "I got my eye on you." How he'd chin-up nod back and do his own claw-point of "NO, NO, I got MY eye on YOU."
It would be a household tension that I just don't think we could handle.